Almost 18 months??? Really?

Since Ryan was born, the days and weeks have just flown by.  I can hardly believe he will be 18 months old in just a couple of weeks.  I always used to look at 18 months as a magical number for some reason.  It was almost like a turning point, in my mind, that once Ryan got to be 18 months old- he would all of a sudden be more of a kid than a baby.  Somehow I thought that 18 months would be easier than "baby".  In reality- it's the same amount of "hard", it's just different.  Babies are very demanding - but toddlers can totally wear you out!  Will it get easier as they get even older?  I doubt it.  We are lucky that Ryan is such a good, happy kid.  Sure, he is super, duper active and has his naughty moments - but for the most part he is a really great, and really smart kid.  We had no idea, the day he was born, what his little personality would be, and how much love, pride, and enjoyment he would bring us.

But- I think I had a lot of difficulty adjusting to motherhood in the beginning.  The sleep deprivation sucked, I had a love/hate relationship with nursing- I loved my baby more than anything in the world, but let's be honest, he was just a blob for the first couple of months.  Of course he was a blob of cuteness- but a blob, nonetheless.  Yeah- I'm not a huge fan of the whole newborn/baby thing. 

So, why am I preggo and doing it all over again?  Because it's amazing to watch your child grow and develop their own little personality.  Because loving your own child is like no other love you have ever known before.  Because giving your child a sibling could be the best gift you ever give him (hopefully!).  I know it all sounds cliche- but it's really all true.  Nothing in the world could ever amaze you more than a wonderful little being that you helped bring into the world.  And then to watch them grow into an actual little person (rather than the blob I mentioned earlier) is just a crazy, wonderful experience.  

Also cliche- but as much as you don't think you will, you WILL become your mother.  I have a whole new respect for my mom.  I understand, now, decisions that she and my dad made when I was younger.  And I understand better the amazing love they have for me and my brother.  I just hope that I turn out to be half as great a mom as my own has been (and still is).  I hope I can raise my children as well as I think Chris and I were raised.